Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
