ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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