My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
