I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
