Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
only you would photoshop your dick
There r osticjed everywhere
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
