Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
