I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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