Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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