Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
