Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
