I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
