My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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