and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
