so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
