I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Two words: blizzard sex
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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