what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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