just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
