i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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