belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
