tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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