This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
