Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
