The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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