i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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