sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can I color on your dick again?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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