Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
