i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize