I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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