Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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