guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
After tacos, we're chasing women.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
