thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
