did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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