Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize