New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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