Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
