I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
