I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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