In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
