I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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