idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
