I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
