so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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