I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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