I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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