I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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