Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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