you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
