plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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