I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
well you can't waste a boner
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
