You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
