i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
