Got a toothbrush?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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