Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
