there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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