hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
