Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
