dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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