but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
