Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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