so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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