My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
