It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
