i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
