Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize