Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I could make wine with my vomit
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
