Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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