He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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