I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We just shotgunned beers for America
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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