party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
