We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
