how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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