So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
