I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
