the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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