they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
